A marriage is a covenant agreement between a man and a woman who desire to commit to one another in life, to go through the good times and the bad in loving support of one another.
Marriage can be a wonderful and beautiful union, with physical intimacy adding a dimension for express-ing loving emotions and pro-creation for the addition of children to the family. Some married couples are not able to have children. The reasons vary, preventing physical intimacy as normally could take place. These couples, otherwise, lead very normal lives, and in some cases adopt children to have the traditional family unit made up of a man, woman, and children.
The family is really the foundational building block of homes and communities. Take away family and you will have a breakdown of society. In many countries outside the United States family units are made up of an extended family of grandparents and grandchildren, sometimes all living within the same house or community all caring for, and looking out, for one another.
Israelite culture also expressed these types of living arrangements early on, though, admittedly, more nomadic living. With examples of patriarchs like Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob being the precursor of all of Israel.
Betrothal engagement usually precedes marriage. Those who are engaged are letting everyone know that they are off the market and have made an initial agreement to marry each other. It’s similar to our relationship with the Master. Let’s examine the Scriptural precedent for betrothal and marriage.
Rules of War in Israel
In Deuteronomy, what is known as the second giving of the Law, we read, And who is the man that is engaged to a woman and has not married her? Let him depart and return to his house, otherwise he might die in the battle and another man would marry her, Deuteronomy 20:7 (The New American Standard Bible is used throughout.)
Engagements are strong and likened to a marriage, without the benefits of marriage, such as living together.
The following provides a strong connection between being engaged and married.
If there is a young woman who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the young woman, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you, Deuteronomy 22:23–24. Here we see the term wife used in reference to someone who is betrothed. It was a warning not to mess around with someone who is already engaged. An engagement is strong, like marriage.
Commonly Known Among Believers
The betrothal of Joseph and Mary was so strong in fact, that Joseph, it is thought, would have given something like a certificate saying, “she is not with me, nor I with her,” when he found out she was with child.
It was foretold Mary that she would bare a child in Luke 1:26–38, Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from Elohim to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming in, he said to her, “Greetings, favored one! Yahweh is with you.” But she was very perplexed at this statement, and kept pondering what kind of salutation this was. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with Elohim. “And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Yahshua. “He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and Yahweh Elohim will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of Elohim. “And behold, even your relative Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age; and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month. “For nothing will be impossible with Elohim.” And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of Yahweh; may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. (Emphasis ours.)
See how she trusted the word of Yahweh’s angel. Joseph, was also a believer in Yahweh.
Another angel spoke to Joseph in Matthew 1:18–25, Now the birth of Yahshua Messiah was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of Yahweh appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son; and you shall call His Name Yahshua, for He will save His people from their sins.” Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by Yahweh through the prophet: “BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL,” which translated means, “EL WITH US.” And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of Yahweh commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His Name Yahshua. (Emphasis ours.)
Comparing the two highlighted bold areas in this also shows engagement is likened to marriage.
Joseph was righteous according to Yahweh’s ways. The point we should make here is, we should not be unequally yoked.
Paul’s Wisdom from Above
However, sometimes we come into the faith al-ready married, but the spouse is unwilling to come in. As the Apostle Paul pointed out in his letters, one should remain as he is called (1 Cor. 7:20). He was emphasizing what our priority should be, that is, to the Master.
Paul compares us to an engagement with Yahshua, saying, I wish that you would bear with me in a little foolishness; but indeed you are bearing with me. For I am jealous for you with a Yahweh-like jealousy; for I betrothed you to one Husband, so that to Messiah I might present you as a pure virgin, 2 Corinthians 11:1–2.
Marriage itself is likened to Messiah and the Assembly. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Master. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Messiah also is the head of the Assembly, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the Assembly is subject to Messiah, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Messiah also loved the Assembly and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the Assembly in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Messiah also does the Assembly, because we are members of His body. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Messiah and the Assembly. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband, Ephesians 5:22–33.
We’ll take a look at this passage again, but first let’s look at a time ahead of us.
The Prophetic Time Yet Ahead
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints, Revelation 19:7–8.
There is preparation that is done prior to a marriage, both on the part of the groom and on the side of the bride.
Yahshua says that he has gone to prepare a place for us. So, a lesson here is that our young single men should have their own house in order prior to marriage. It will make things much easier if things are done in a proper and orderly manner.
We encourage couples to go through the Prepare and Enrich premarital counseling course with us as it adds to the couple’s preparedness and helps them before marriage. Also, we will not marry a couple unless it is according with the laws of the land (i.e., licensing, certificates, etc.).
There is a reason why details of marriage covenants (ceremonial processes) are not provided in Scripture. It’s because Yahweh in His wisdom knew marriage laws would vary in different countries and cultures.
Seven Marriage Facts
Let’s switch gears for a moment and look at seven facts that we see in Scripture concerning marriage. I believe this list originated in the YRM Study Bible, but these have been shared in at least two weddings I’ve been to in the last couple of years.
1. Marriage was established by the Creator from the beginning.
So Elohim created the man in His image, in the image of Elohim He created him — male and female He created them, Genesis 1:27. The purpose of the creation of man and woman was to unite them as one.
And, it should be mentioned that Yahweh recognizes even pagan marriages, like Joseph’s master Potiphar, whose wife tried to have her way with Joseph, the son of Israel. Joseph’s response was to run. And that should be ours, too. Run from evil, not to it.
2. Marriage is between one man and one woman, making them one in flesh.
We find that The Bible definition of Marriage from the beginning is only between a man and a woman.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. This is quoted in Mark 10:7-8; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31 and also Matthew 19:5.
“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what Elohim has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6.
Notice: has “joined together” “has established.” Today this is becoming blurred along with the rest of Yahweh’s Word which many are ignoring altogether these days.
3. Marriage is for raising children and creating a family.
Yahweh gave the authority to man to populate and fill the earth. Then Elohim blessed them, and Elohim said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it,” Genesis 1:28.
As mentioned in the beginning, the family is really the foundational building block of homes and communities. Take away family and you will have a breakdown of society.
4. Marriage requires mutual love.
Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Master. Because the husband is head of the wife, as also the Messiah is head of the Assembly, and He is Savior of the body. But as the Assembly is subject to Messiah, so also let the wives be to their own husbands in every respect. Husbands, love your wives, as Messiah also did love the Assembly and gave Himself for it, in order to set it apart and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, in order to present it to Himself a splendid assembly, not having spot or wrinkle or any of this sort, but that it might be set-apart and blameless. In this way husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but feeds and cherishes it, as also the Master does the Assembly, Ephesians 5:22–29.
Yahweh knows how we are built, and these instructions reflect this fact. Men tend to be more logical, and may not express the feelings that a woman will desire of their husband, so husbands are told “Love your wives.” And women may not like the subordinate position, but they are to respect it by respecting and honoring their husbands.
The headship is clear, there is Yahweh, then Yahshua, then man, then woman (1 Cor. 11:3). Yahweh is all about law and order, and that is exactly what we see in His instructions and those inspired to provide insight from His Word.
5. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, divorce is not an option.
For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man, Romans 7:2-3.
This, of course, is not the only instructions we find. Just like, looking at Sabbath verses, we need to look at not just one area of Scripture concerning Sabbath, but all the areas, to have an overall understanding of it.
There are reasons allowed for divorce and remarriage: For example, sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9) or the death of the spouse (which is not a divorce, but rather a condition, in which there is a release of that marriage by the law of the land and of Scripture (1 Corinthians 7:39 and Romans 7:2-3, as just read).
In addition, “... if the unbelieving depart” (1 Cor. 7:15) If an unbeliever divorces a believer, Paul says the believing one “is not under bondage.” That is to say, not bound to that marriage after the divorce. It is effectively dissolved, following the laws of the land, unless reconciliation can be made. In some cases, it cannot, but we are to try nonetheless. The believer who is left, is to remarry in the faith, not outside of the faith.
When it comes to believers in the body of Messiah, they only have the option of separation, if the other factors are not involved. Otherwise, adultery is the outcome.
6. Marriage requires faithfulness and purity.
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband, 1 Corinthians 7:1-3.
Many of us can certainly relate to what Paul is saying here. Some of us don’t go through an engagement process, we just go to the justice of the peace. Lest we fail to exercise self control.
Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? Proverbs: 5:15-20.
Sage advice, and, it’s in line with the rest of the commandments, especially, not committing adultery, which, even looking lustfully at others is a violation.
You have heard that it was said, “YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY”; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27–28.
We are called to walk on higher ground.
7. Marriage is a blessing that exhibits the favor of Yahweh.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from Yahweh, Proverbs 18:22.
The wording we find here does mean to look for, keep an eye out for. Searching is a natural process for a man as hunter, gatherer and provider.
Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun, Ecclesiastes 9:9.
One of the better things in life for a man is to have a good wife. But, many of the good things in life are a direct result of Yahweh providing.
House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from Yahweh, Proverbs 19:14.
The point in this is to ask Yahweh to guide and lead you to the right wife for you. And single sisters in the faith, that should be your prayer, as well. If you are wanting to marry, as Paul said, it is not a sin (1 Cor. 7:28, 36).
In Conclusion
Marriage is one of the greatest covenants we can make outside of being in covenant with Yahweh through Yahshua. Never take marriage covenants for granted, for Yahweh certainly does not.
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers Elohim will judge, Hebrews 13:4.
-Elder David Brett
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2963 County Road 233, Kingdom City, Missouri 65262
View us online at: www.YAIY.org
Call Toll Free: (877) 642-4101
Main Line : (573) 642-4100
2963 County Road 233, Kingdom City, Missouri 65262
View us online at: www.YAIY.org
Call Toll Free: (877) 642-4101
Main Line : (573) 642-4100